If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
