He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
