i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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