come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
