She is in my trunk
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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