Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
