glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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