I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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