Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
