i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I need to align my fucking chakras
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
