Plan B is the new Plan A
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
