Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
