I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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