he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Well I just put wine in my tea
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
