I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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