Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So much rum. So many feels.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
