Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
