wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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