and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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