I hate all girls vehemently.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
