I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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