I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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