Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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