is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize