Barsexuality is the new black.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize