Screwed.edu
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
