Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I wish i was in the wii world.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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