making cat noises will not fix the situation.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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