so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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