Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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