Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
