I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
