sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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