I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
