haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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