Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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