i need an iv and a liver transplant
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
