lets start a swedish sibling band together
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
