I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
