LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize