Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
farters have to be the big spoon...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
