Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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