no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
