hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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