operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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