so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Randomize
