have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
