he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
