The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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