when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
this beer tastes like vomit already
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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