I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
