how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You pole danced in your parka.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
