I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
