I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
