Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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