I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
