goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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