Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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