your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
