I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm really busy with my period
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