Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My pussy is not your playground.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
