I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
