So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
